So lately...

so pretty much i've been really depressed this past week. i've made new friends and reinforced the bonds i have with some of the older new ones. but i've also had some conflict. not really conflict. i guess that isn't the right word. but. misunderstandings. better word. they didn't help my emotions. but everything is better now. with that. i cried myself to sleep last night. and then i was woken up with night terrors throughout the night. my biological family had found me. my biological father... he had found me and drug me back home... and that terrifies me so much. i'm so scared that that will happen. i live in constant fear that that moment.

it's been a while since an actual post and i'm sorry about that. my last post was just the result of a personality test that i took. 300 questions. which turned out to be very accurate. it says my depression is 99/100. which i didn't realize that i was always depressed until i read that. and it turns out i am. but i think i'm getting better. i still get depressed. i have been depressed the last couple of days. i did have some guys drive by in the school parking lot and yell "go home fag" at me while i was walking back from my car. it did not put me in a good mood. i also need to start working on my sarcasm. i think i am getting too sarcastic and am worried about offending someone. but i'm trying to work on it. but i am not really sure how to act around people. i'm still not used to people actually caring about me. and i'm also starting to understand my online Bible class. it was so confusing when i started. i had no idea. haha. but i am starting to understand. but still. back on track. i am not depressed as much. i have been depressed this past week though. and i hope people aren't noticing when i'm depressed. but now i gtg. my MacBook battery is dying.